Dear Emy: My Boyfriend’s Girlfriends
My boyfriend and I have been together for just over four months now and things have been going pretty well. We don’t fight and he’s respectful and really supportive of me.
What’s been bugging me though is that most of his friends are girls. I know this shouldn’t bother me, but it does. I get worried when he hangs out with them and I’m not there. How do I know he’s staying loyal? Should I ask him not to hang out with them? Or at least not one-on-one? I’d appreciate any advice.
It’s perfectly natural to feel a little uneasy or even jealous about your boyfriend having many female friends because it means you really care about this person. Plus, if he’s as great as you say he is, of course you’ll want him all to yourself!
That being said, if you truly believe your boyfriend is being dishonest (based on indicators beyond your suspicion alone), have an open conversation with your partner. The key here is that trust is the backbone to any relationship and communicating is crucial in maintaining that trust. Expressing your concerns can make you feel a lot better and it will help your partner to learn more about the way you operate in relationships.
Another option is getting to know your boyfriend’s girlfriends. Maybe ask to join in on something they like to do with your boyfriend. Seeing their interactions can help you feel more comfortable with him hanging out with other women and it can assure you of his loyalty. Not to mention, since you like your boyfriend, there is a good chance you’ll like his friends. You might even make some new friends of your own!
Keep in mind that at the end of the day, your boyfriend is dating you. He’s seen something special in you and despite his other options, you were the one he decided to take things further with. Unless you begin to see signs of suspicious activity, I think it’s safe to say that your partner is staying true to the relationship. Just remember to keep communication open and that trust is essential. Enjoy exploring your relationship!
Looking for advice? Submit your questions and concerns to firstname.lastname@example.org and Emy will get back to you in the next issue!