Self-love and long distance: How to make the most of a long distance relationship

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Does distance really make the heart grow fonder? Before you start a long distance relationship, there are a couple of things you should know. Long distance is most likely going to be a make-it-or-break it situation, that’s just the bitter truth. Once you have realized that you can, in fact, make it, it will change your dynamic forever. The trials and tribulations that are unique to this experience will make you a stronger and more patient person.

Although many people in your life will tell you that long distance is a relationship-killing, soul-sucking, tragic ordeal, I am here to tell you that this is not necessarily the case. It can be one of the most rewarding and beneficial experiences a person could go through. If you want to know how this scary and nerve racking experience can change your character for the better, keep reading!

This first aspect of long distance relationships, although cliché, is honestly so true; a long-distance relationship will make or break your future with that person. Not spending time with someone makes us insecure and unsure about our relationship. We start to doubt their loyalty and their commitment to us, which can cause us to get straight up jealous. I have spent two out of four years living on a different continent from my partner and, over time, I have learned some simple ways to combat FOMO! Keep yourself active and engaged with other people instead of sitting at home wishing bae was there. When I was living in Spain, I made sure to keep myself busy physically and mentally while making time for connecting with my S.O, too. I joined a volleyball team, rode my bike a lot, accepted people’s invitations to go out at night, and updated my blog regularly.

Making sure your life continues and that you are still growing and developing as a person is super important for what happens after the time apart is done. My boyfriend went away to do his masters in Hungary two years after I returned from Spain and I realized that the dynamic is completely different when you are the one staying in the familiar place. Everything reminded me of him, everything made me miss him, and I needed to make sure that it did not drive me crazy. To avoid the impending insanity that comes from this, I started to see time and space as relative, and not hugely important in what I wanted in the future. After we established that we both wanted this for life, and that one day in the future we would be together forever, things became way easier. Surviving a couple of months or years apart in what could be a lifetime together makes that time less daunting. Remember that this is only temporary, and one day you will be together again.

Once you have accepted the relativity of time and space, you will be able to tackle any of life’s problems in a different way. It makes you realize that everything is temporary and makes you question the importance of certain things. Personally, it has made me a kinder person towards other people, because I realized that you never know what someone else is fighting or dealing with silently. It also makes you more patient and willing to think long-term about your goals and aspirations.

If you make loving yourself and others a priority, you will become more positive and promote happiness. They say that good things come to those who wait, and I never truly realized what that could mean. Sacrificing instant gratification for long term gain is easier said than done, but trust me, it is so worth it. So just remember: be patient, be kind, and choose love first.